| Everything on this page is copyright © 1999 by Faruk
Ates. All rights reserved. That means: please don't take my work without asking! Revised: 07 mei 1999. |
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[This fic continues on Vincent's Misery. Just so you know...]
******* Vincent's Misery 2: Beyond Limits! *******
When the void stops it's weird stuff, we find our heroes in yet another
unknown place...
Cid: Ok Red, tell us where we are now.
Cloud: Yeah, where are we?
Red: Hey, how come you all ask me everything? I don't know where we are, and i've said
that a million times, so SHUT UP!
Cloud: Wow dude, take it easy. We didn't mean to get you crazy...
Red: Ok, forget it, just don't ask me where we are anymore, 'cause i really don't know,
and when i DO, i'll tell you.
Tifa: Say Cid?
Cid: What?
Tifa: When's Vincent going to unfreeze again?
Cid: Well...(looks at his watch)...right..about...NOW! (Vincent awakens)
Vincent: *yawn* Hmm, that was quite a nice nap...(notices the scenery changed) Red? Where
are we???
Red: AAARRGH!!! (runs towards Vincent)
Vincent: Whoo, take it easy ya big lion!
Red: (almost bites Vincent) Shut up! (stalks off)
Vincent: Phew...
After a short investigation of the area, the group gathers around Cloud.
Cloud: Ok, we know that there isn't much danger here, so we can stay a while and find some
food.
Tifa: That's correct. Why don't we create a little camp?
Yuffie: Yeah, it's beautiful around here, we should have a little break!
Red: I think that's a good idea, i can use the time to find out a way to get home.
Cid: I agree.
Vincent: Ok, we stay here for a while.
Cloud: Now then, who're gonna set up the camp?
Cid: I will.
Vincent: I'll help Cid.
Tifa: Yuffie and i will find food.
Yuffie: Hey, what if i disagree?!
Tifa: Then i'll kick your butt...(evil look towards Yuffie)
Yuffie: *gulp* I like foraging....(hopeless smile)
Tifa: Good. (they walk away)
Vincent: (shouting) Hey you two, the camp will be placed by that river ok? Remember it!
Tifa: (shouting back) Ok thanks.
Cloud: Red?
Red: Cloud?
Cloud: What?
Red: What do you mean, "what" ?
Cloud: I don't know. What do you mean, "what do you mean?" Red: Nothing. Why did
you call my name?
Cloud: I dunno, what did'ya wanna ask?
Red: Nothing, what did YOU wanted to ask?
Cloud: Me? Nothing. No wait, you're right, i forgot. What are we going to do?
Red: Ah, well, um, I am going to figure out a way to get us back home.
Cloud: Oh, and me? What should i do?
Red: Maybe you could help the others?
Cloud: Hey, good idea! (goes to Cid and Vincent)
Red: Idiot...
Cid: So Vincent, where shall i put this treetrunk?
Vincent: Hmm, put it over there...
Cid: Here?
Vincent: No, more to the right...
Cid: Here?
Vincent: Yes. No wait, better move it over there...
Cid: Grr, just do it your &%$#@%* self!
Vincent: Jeez, you old fool, getting tired of dragging a little old treetrunk!
Cid: Old? Why you #$%*#/& @$$%^$! Take this! (spikes Vincent with his Venus Gospel)
Vincent: OUCH!!! (looks at a little hole in his arm) Why you, you, YOU! (attacks Cid)
[as you'll probably suspect noticing the title of this fic, Vincent will lose from Cid
for a change]
Vincent: (with pain throughout his entire body) I'll get you, you *ouch* stupid author! [Note,
that would be me! Poor Vincent...]
Cid: That'll learn you, you vampire!
Vincent: I am NOT a *ouch* vampi- *ouch* -re...
Cid: Sure...(taunts Vincent for a while, until Cloud joins them)
Cloud: Jeez, Vincent! Still annoying Cid?
Vincent: Just shut up you spikey headed jerk!
Cloud: Ok that's it, now you'll have it! (slashes Vincent with his Ultima) *flingg*
Vincent: OUCH! YOU FU....FUSS!
Cloud: Want even more huh? Take this! *flingg*
Vincent: AIEE!!!! (bleeds heavily)
Cloud: That'll teach ya...
Cid: (enjoying Cloud beating up Vincent) Hurray, 1-0 for Cloud!
Cloud: You just sh...oh well, who cares! Say, we should make the camp before darkness
y'know!
Cid: Hmm, i think it'll be just you and me Cloud, cos Vincent's probably too weak to stand
up!
Vincent: I am not too....(faints)
Cloud: Oh well, let's get busy...
After they have built up the camp, or at least something that they claim to be a camp,
they look at Vincent again.
Cloud: Hmm, i got an idea! The author just told me to dress up Vincent like a girl!
Cid: Hmm, good idea, i think i'm even going to thank the author for being such a great
person...
Cloud: Yeah, me too. He is such a wonderful human being, you all should thank him and
{ZAP} OUCH!!! What was that??
Me: That was a lightning bolt to make you stop talking! Now don't go thanking me anymore,
understood??
Cloud/Cid: Uh, yes SIR!
Me: Sorry for the little interruption folks.
Anyways, as Cloud was saying:
Cloud: Oh yeah, i was saying something. Um, what was i saying again?
Cid: We should dress up Vincent like a girl.
Cloud: Yeah, that was it. We should dress up Vincent like a girl!
[I think his stupidity is annoying me. I think i'll write a fic called 'Cloud's Misery'
soon...]
Anyway, they dressed up Vincent before anyone got there.
Cloud: Hey, this looks pretty cool if i might say so.
Cid: Well, i think i'll agree with you there. Not bad, not bad at all!
Vincent: (awaking) Huh? What's not bad at all? (noticing he's wearing girl's cloths)
AAAHH!!! WHO DID THIS TO ME?!
Cloud/Cid: We did...
Vincent: Why??? What did i do to deserve this????
Cloud: Lemme count....(starts counting REALLY fast and keeps going)
Vincent: Shut up, I'll kill you both! (stands up, then collapses of the intens pain he
still has)
Cid: Hmm, lethal position, you really are scaring me Vampy...
Vincent: *sob* Why me? *sob*
Cloud: Let's call the others to let them see this too!
Cid: Yeah! (they call all the others)
Tifa: Hey Vincent, never thought you would look so good in a PINK dress, *giggle* you
should wear it more often!
Yuffie: *giggle* Yeah, like, ALWAYS! (people's snickering can be heard)
Vincent: It's not fair! (snickering gets louder)
Red: All that misses is a little ribbon in your hair..(snickering turns into laughter)
Cloud: ..And a little umbrella in your hands! (laughter turns into complete and hysterical
laughing)
Vincent: *sob* I wanna shoot myself...*sniff*
Tifa: *snicker* Girls like you aren't allowed guns! (now the complete team except Vincent
rolls over the ground laughing)
Vincent: (crawling away from them) Just you wait...
After about, oh say an hour the laughter stops and everyone's trying to get Vincent out of
the bush he's been hiding in!
Cloud: Vincent, come out will'ya, it's getting dark!
Vincent: (from some bushes) NO! GIMME MY CLOTHES!
Cloud: (holding his clothes up) They're right here, why doncha get them?
Vincent: Haha, very funny! I'm NOT coming out!
Cloud: And we can't get you out of there?
Vincent: Not even for a million bucks!
Tifa: And two million?
Vincent: No!
Yuffie: 10 million?
Cid: We promise we won't laugh.
Vincent: NO! NO NO NO NO!!
Cloud: Oh, so, you don't wanna hear me telling that there is a lion behind you, almost
ready to jump on you?
Vincent: A WHAT?? (looks around and sees something that looks a *lot* like a lion's mouth)
AAAH! (runs out of the bushes)
Everyone: (starts laughing at Vincent again) ALLRIGHT RED!!
Vincent: Red????
Red: (coming slowly out of the same bushes in which vincent was) Yup, me.
Vincent: So, so it was you in there, and not a dangerous lion?
Red: Yes, it was me..
Vincent: Grrr.... (starts chasing Red)[but fails due to too little strength]
Cloud: (still having fun about Vincent) Say, let's just get some rest ok?
Tifa: Yeah, im kinda tired of all that laughing at Vincent...
Vincent: (annoyed) Amusing huh? Grr...
Cid: Well, let's go to bed!
Everyone (except Vincent): Ok. (goes to their 'beds')
Vincent: Hey, what about my clothes????
Cloud: (acting very sleepy) Oh, they're just zzz*mumble* between the *snoar* zzzzzz.......
Vincent: *sob* (to himself) This is all just a dream, you'll wake up in your normal
clothes, just go to bed now!
The next morning...
Vincent: Good, i bet i got my regular clothes back..(sees he's wrong) AARGH NOOOOOO!!!!!!
Cloud: (waking up) Jeez, be quiet will'ya?
Vincent: I've had enough! I am outta here, i'm going home!
Tifa: Sure, how?
Vincent: (realising that he can't control the transporter-thing) Um, i uh, i...FU*^&!
Cid: Hey vampy, you cursed!!!!!
Yuffie: Vincent!
Vincent: Oops...
Cloud: Well, i feel kinda sorry about all this. Vincent?
Vincent: WHAT?!
Cloud: If i give you your clothes back, will you promise me that you'll never try to kill
me for this?
Vincent: (considering it) Well, at least i will NOT kill you for stealing my clothes. Is
that enough?
Cloud: Well, until we or i do something else to you i think so. (gives Vincent his clothes
back)
Vincent: Finally! (changes his clothes) Now, I'll KILL YOU ALL!!!
Cloud: Hey, you said you wouldn't kill us now!!!
Vincent: No, i said i wouldn't kill you for stealing my clothes. Dressing me up like a
girl is something else!!!
Cid: But, but, AAAH!
Vincent: Now, you will get what you deserve...(eye starting to glow red)
Tifa: Oh darn...
Vincent: I have new strength....(turning slowly into Chaos)....I have new powers....
DIE!!!!!
Everyone: AAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!! (but before Vincent kicks their butts, Red was so smart to
push the button on the transporter.)
Vincent: What? NOO!! YOU ANNOYING AUTHOR! I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS!!!
And then the void starts doing his job again [heck, he's gotta do something if he wants
to get paid!] and our friends arrive at...
We'll see where our friends arrive, in the next fanfic!
Ok, ok, i know that i am hurting a lot of Vincent-fans with this fic, but i feel a bit
angry towards Vincent, and i don't
know why. Hey, Vincent is my favorite character from FF7, so wait for him to come back and
KICK MY BUTT!!!!!
(just to please all of you...)
Merry X-mas to all of you if you read this around X-mas time...
Written by Faruk KuraFire Ates!