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Ates. All rights reserved. That means: please don't take my work without asking! Revised: 03 apr 1999. |
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*** Vincent's date from Hell!!! (By: Jeroen V.) ***
Cid: Hey Vincent! Yuffie's looking for ya!
Vincent: Yuffie? I wonder what she wants.
Yuffie (walks to Vincent): Hiya Vince!
Vincent: Don't call me Vince...
Yuffie: Whatever. Let's go on a date!
Vincent: A DATE!!!
Cid: WHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Yuffie: Yeah, a date! Let's steal money and materia at Gold Saucer!
Vincent (sweatdrop): I.. ehhh... Don't wanna go...
Yuffie: Please?
Vincent: No.
Yuffie: PLEASE???
Vincent: NO!
Yuffie: PLEASE?!?!?!
Vincent: NOOOOO!!!!
Yuffie: I'll kill you if you don't go! (pulls out Conformer)
Vincent: AAAAAH!!! (runs away)
*** Cloud's Villa ***
Cloud: (watching Jerry)
Vincent: Cloud! Open up! It's me, Vincent
Cloud (opens door): Hi Vincent.
Vincent: Please, let me in! Yuffie trying to date me!
Cloud: Yuffie? Poor guy... Come in, before she finds you!
Yuffie: Too late! (throws Conformer and nearly kills Cloud)
Cloud: Stupid materia witch! OMNI- (gets kicked in his nuts by Yuffie)
Cloud (raised voice): Slash? (passes out)
Vincent (thinks): Gotta get outta here!
Tifa: What the hell is going on here? (sees Cloud)
Yuffie: Tifa, get out off my way!
Tifa: You did this to Cloud?!?! FINAL HEAVEN!!!
Yuffie: Oh oh... (get her @$$ kicked by Tifa)
Vincent: Phew... Thanks Tifa.
Tifa: No problem. (kneels next to Cloud) You alright?
Cloud: Man, I have this terrible ache between my legs!
Vincent: I'll fix that... (grabs Restore materia) Restore!
Cloud: Thanks!
Tifa (kicks Yuffie out): What was going on?
Cloud: Yuffie was trying to date Vincent.
Tifa: I'm sorry for you.
Vincent: It's alright. I've...
Yuffie: Vincent!!! Get outta there, or I'll drag you out!!!
Vincent: YIKES!!! (runs like hell)
Cloud (watches Jerry again): He's doomed...
Tifa (sits next to Cloud): Yeah...
*** Cosmo Canyon ***
Vincent: Let me in!
Guard: I'm sorry, but were full.
Vincent: I don't care! I'm on the run!
Guard: For what? (sees Yuffie) Poor fellow, Get in!
Yuffie: Hey! Let me pass!
Guard: No!
Yuffie: Stop! (guard freezes)
Vincent: Oh god... Red, help me!!! (Red XIII runs to Vincent)
Red: Ultima! (ruins Yuffie's hair)
Yuffie: Shadowflare! (coolest enemy-skill around!)
Vincent: Shadowstorm!
Red + Yuffie: ???
Vincent: I know it doesn't exist, but it sounds cool, right?
Yuffie: Come on Vinny! Let's go to Gold Saucer!
Vincent: NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! (runs like hell... again)
Red: Poor guy...
*** Rocket Town ***
Vincent: Shera, can you lend me the keys to that thing?
Shera: Sure. (tosses him some keys) Watch out for the paint, right?
Vincent: Yeah. I got to run! See ya!
Shera: Why is he so affraid? (sees Yuffie) Figures!
Vincent (inside the Rocket): See ya, materia B$^&*!!! (blasts off)
Yuffie: Damn!
*** Sector 5 Church ***
Aeris: Ho humm... Just wait 'till I give him this flowers...
Rocket: (chrashes down)
Aeris: Huh? (Vincent drops out of the Rocket)
Vincent: Aeris?
Aeris: Hmmm?
Vincent: Is Yuffie here?
Aeris: No... Were alone...
Vincent: Thank goodness. You see, Yuffie's trying to date me and...
Yuffie: GOTCHA!!!
Vincent: (screams like a little girl and jumps behind Aeris) Help me!
Aeris: Only if you date... Me!
Vincent (thinks): Date Aeris? She cute, why not? (out loud) Okay!
Aeris: Just wait... (begins to pray)
Yuffie + Vincent: Huh?
Aeris: (finishes prayer and Sephy appears)
Sephy: Hi Aeris!
Aeris: Hi! Could you kill Yuffie?
Sephy: With pleasure! (slices Yuffie) Okay folks! Ciao! (disappears)
Vincent: Thanks Aeris!
Aeris: Now you gotta date me! (they go to Gold Saucer)
*** Battle Arena ***
Girl: Congratulations!
Vincent: Huh?
Girl: You two have been chosen for the "Double Couple Fight"!
Aeris: Against who?
Girl: I'll tell you next. Names?
Vincent: Valentine. Vincent Valentine.
Aeris: I'm Aeris Gainsborough.
Girl: You have to battle against... Cloud Strife and Tifa Lockheart!
Vincent: Huh?
Aeris: Yes!!!
*** Arena ***
Cloud: (plays with his sword)
Tifa: Could you please stop with that? It's getting kinda annoying.
Cloud: Okay.
Vincent (gets dragged in by Aeris): I don't wanna fight Cloud and Tifa!
Aeris: I don't want to fight them. I want to kill them!
Cloud: Vincent?
Vincent: Hi Cloud...
Aeris: Let's kill them!
Vincent: For what?
Aeris: Cloud's been an @$$hole, because he's ignoring me and Tifa is a slut!
Tifa: WHAT!!! FINAL HEAVEN!!! (beats the $*&@ out off Aeris)
Cloud: OMNISLASH! (kills Aeris)
Vincent: Wasn't that a bit overkill?
Tifa: Hmmmmmm... No.
Cloud: Yawn... I'm going home... I'm tired...
Yuffie (happily): VINCENT!!!
Vincent: AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Cloud + Tifa: (pass out)
~ FIN ~