| Everything on this page is copyright © 1999 by Faruk
Ates. All rights reserved. That means: please don't take my work without asking! Revised: 03 apr 1999. |
 |
*** Sephiroth's Movie ***
Sephy: You guys ready?
Aeris (from dressing room): Not yet. This is a really tight dress, you know.
Sephy: I don't care! Hurry up, because you're ruining my movie!
Tifa: That dress isn't tight, you're fat!
Aeris: I heard that! (walks out in a very see-trough dress) B^%#$!
Cloud: (sees Aeris) Hubba hubba! (whistles)
Tifa: (slaps Cloud)
Aeris: Leave my Cloud alone! (slaps Tifa)
Tifa: Why you little...
Sephy: Cut it out! You two are freaking me out! Get ready, TAKE ONE!
*** On stage ***
Cid (walks on stage with a rocketlauncher): Ciao!!! (shoots a door open)
Red: Hurry up, before security arrives! (they run in and rob the bank)
Cloud (in a FBI suit): FBI! You're under arrest!
Vincent (also in FBI suit): Drop your weapons and get on the ground!
Cid: F%#$ you! (empties his machine gun at Cloud and Vincent)
Cloud (pulls out a grenade): %#%^#$%#$%!!! (arms grenade and blows the hell outta Red)
Red: Ack! (runs away)
Cid: Stay back! Or the girl gets it! (holds a gun to Aeris' throat)
Aeris: (cries) Help me! Please help me!
Cloud: Cover me! (runs to Cid and knocks him out)
Vincent: Cloud!
Red: You fools! (shoots Vincent and then runs away)
Cloud: Vincent!
Aeris: Ahhhh!
Vincent: (falls back against a crate)
Cloud: You alright?
Vincent (dying): You on a coffeebreak or something? Go get that sonnova b%#$@! (exhales)
Cloud: Vincent, don't die on me, ya hear!
Aeris: Excuse me, but I have a bit of medical experience. (tries to help Vincent)
Cloud: (calls for an ambulance)
Aeris: He's... gone... (some cops arrive)
Cloud: I'll get that f%#$&%$ b$#%^$%, even if it's the last thing I'll do!
Aeris: I'm sorry. Was he your best friend, mister?
Cloud: Strife, Cloud Strife. And yes, he was my best friend.
Aeris: I'm really sorry. Oh, by the way, I'm Aeris Gainsborough.
Cloud: It's okay. I'm sorry that you got messed up in all this.
Aeris: I'll forgive you if you buy me a drink!
Cloud: Sure. (they walk out)
Sephy: CUT! Great job guys!
*** Off stage ***
Tifa: Why does Aeris have to be the girl that is gonna get saved by Cloud?
Sephy: Because she said please. (all except Cloud and Aeris leave)
Aeris: Hey Cloud! You got to buy me something...
Cloud: But that was in the movie!?
Aeris: So?
Cloud: Oh well... Hey, let's go to Costa Del Sol!
Aeris: No. The Turks are there already...
Cloud: Cosmo Canyon?
Aeris: They serve alcohol-free drinks.
Cloud: Rocket Town?
Aeris: Cid's there already. He always makes me mad when he curses.
Cloud: Wutai?
Aeris: .....
Cloud: I know. Kalm?
Aeris: Nope. It stinks there!
Cloud: Icicle Inn?
Aeris: Too cold. Besides, Cid has the Highwind.
Cloud: I'm outta ideas.
Aeris: Midgar! I know a great place there!
Cloud (thinks): To beat up Tifa, I guess...
Jeroen [author](telepathy): Yup.
Cloud (thinks): Oh no! Not you again!
Jeroen (telepathy): MWAHAHAHAHA!!! You will suffer! Soon... Very soon...
Cloud: Aeris?
Aeris: Hmmm?
Cloud: The author is annoying me again...
Aeris: HEY JEROEN! LEAVE US ALONE!
Cloud: I hear nothing.
Aeris: I guess he left. Let's go.
Jeroen (thinks): Heh heh heh... You sure?
Cloud: Shut up!
Jeroen: ???
*** Sector 7 Slums ***
Aeris: Look, we're here!
Tifa: What the hell are you doing with Cloud in my bar!?!?
Cloud (thinks): Please, do not let them fight, for once!
Jeroen (telepathy): Okay, maybe in my next fanfic.
Cloud: I mean now, you jerk! @$$hole!
Jeroen (thinks): What did he call me? Let's change the script.
Tifa: Cloud, were you cheating on me?
Cloud: What do you mean?
Tifa: I thought we had something!?
Aeris: What!?
Tifa: Shut up, b%#$^! Cloud, I HATE you! (slaps him REAL hard)
Cloud: OUCH!
Aeris: You told me that you had nothing to do with Tifa...
Cloud: I don't get it anymore!
Aeris: Cloud! This is for lying! (slaps him) And for poor Tifa! (Slaps him again)
Cloud: Girls, I don't get it anymore!
Tifa: Sure Cloud... (begins to cry)
Aeris: Come on Tifa. Let's leave that jerk. (they leave)
Cloud: .....
Jeroen: Heh heh heh.
Cloud: You!? DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (really pissed of)
Jeroen: What do you wanna do?
Cloud: (rips a hole in the fabric of reallity and drags me out)
Jeroen: Hey, that's insane!
Cloud: DIE YOU B%#$&^%!!! (prepares Omnislash)
Jeroen: Stop! I'll fix it, alright?
Cloud: Even better!
Jeroen: (holds the front of a VCR and presses Rewind)
*** Sector 7 Slums ***
Aeris: Look! We're here!
Tifa: What the hell are you doing with Cloud in my bar!?!?
Cloud: .....
Aeris: He happens to buy me a drink, so gives us something hard!
Tifa: WHAT!?
Aeris (sits down next to Cloud): Waitress, two coffee, please.
Tifa (red with anger): okay.
Cloud: Don't you think you're provoking it?
Aeris (very innocent [yeah, right]): Would I do such a thing?
Cloud: I guess not.
Tifa: ... (let's her wallet drop) Oops. (bends REALLY far, letting Cloud see her panties)
Cloud: (whistles)
Aeris: (kicks Tifa in the butt) Excuse me?
Tifa: (gives Cloud his coffee, but bends real far again, letting Cloud look in her top)
Cloud: Yeah! (thinks) Thanks Jeroen!
Aeris: (pulls down Tifa) You prostitute wannabe!
Tifa: At least I HAVE something to show off!
Aeris: That's it! (CATFIGHT!!! They rumble over the table like Springer guests)
Tifa: (slams Aeris' head against the table) Take that!
Aeris: Ow! (throws hot coffee on Tifa's top) HAHAHA!
Tifa: AAAHHHHH!!!! (burns her breasts)
Aeris: (kicks Tifa in her face) Slut!
Tifa: (lies crying on the floor) Leave me alone!
Aeris: (jumps of the table, on Tifa) Whore!
Tifa: (crying) Please! Leave me alone!
Aeris: NO MERCY! (picks her up and slams her against a wall with bottles)
Tifa: (passes out)
Cloud: Isn't that a bit overkill?
Aeris: Nah... Lets drink our coffee, okay? (gets herself a new cup of coffee)
*** Mideel Clinic, 3 weeks later ***
Tifa: Cloud?
Docter: She's awake! Hey you, blonde guy!
Cloud: I heard her. You alright?
Tifa: Cloud? Is it gonna be alright?
Cloud: Ofcourse. (holds her hand)
Tifa: ??? What's this? (looks at Cloud's hand) A RING!?!?!? (faints)
Cloud: Well, Aeris and I got... Hello? Tifa?
Aeris: Ehhh... Does she know it's a ring I bought her to make it all good?
Cloud: Nope.
Sephy: AND CUT! This sucks! We have to do it all again!
Tifa: I don't wanna get thrown around again by that bitch!
Sephy: That's too bad for you, because you have a contract!
Tifa: Well, your movie sucks!
Cloud: Yeah! Who would record a movie in a movie?
Cid: I'm lost in the whole g%$#^%$ thing!
Vincent: Me too!
Tifa: Same here!
Aeris: Ditto!
Jeroen: Even I don't get it! And I'm writing this stuff! Sephy?
Sephy: Yes Mr. V.?
Jeroen: YOU'RE FIRED!
For those of you who don't get it, it was all a movie recorded by that idiot, Sephy.