| Everything on this page is copyright © 1999 by Faruk
Ates. All rights reserved. That means: please don't take my work without asking! Revised: 03 apr 1999. |
 |
FINAL FINTASY SURPRISE PARTY! (By: Jeroen V. Many thanks to: Faruk 'Kurafire' Ates)
*** Tifa's Seventh Heaven ***
Tifa (walks in): Hello guys!
Vincent + Cid: Hi.
Aeris (walks in, too): You two aren't very happy today.
Vincent + Cid: Nope.
Tifa: Why?
Vincent: I have the feeling something terrible is gonna happen...
Cid: And I'm sad because the Dukes are cancelled. (begins to cry like a child)
Cloud (walks in): Hi!
Aeris + Tifa (happily): Hello Cloud!
Cloud: Look what I got! (holds up two tickets for a movie)
Aeris + Tifa: We can go, Cloud!
Aeris: Tifa, Cloud wants to go with me.
Tifa: HAHAHA! You're funny! NOT! (to Cloud) What should I wear?
Vincent: I think I know what terrible thing is gonna happen...
Cid: I bet 2500 gil on Tifa!
Cait/Yuffie (walk in): What's going on?
Cid: Were betting on Tifa and Aeris! Again...
Yuffie: I place 2000 gil on Aeris!
Vincent: Me too!
Cait: 1500 gil on Tifa!
Aeris + Tifa: Do you mind!?!?
Cid: Fire away!
Aeris: Cloud likes cute, handsome and smart girls, like...
Tifa: Hey thanks! I've never been discribed so good!
Aeris: Slut!
Tifa: Whore! (CATFIGHT!!!)
Cid (chanting): TIFA! TIFA! TIFA!
Yuffie: Kill her Aeris! Waste her! Nuke her!
Cait: Come on Tifa! Show her who's the best!
Vincent: Fascinating!
Cloud: Ehhh... Tifa?
Tifa: (rams Aeris head in a wall, and again, and again, and again)
Cloud: Tifa?
Tifa: (stops ramming Aeris in the wall) Yes?
Cloud: Would you two mind stopping?
Tifa: Aw come on Cloud! Can't I have some fun?
Cloud: You can, but please kill someone we all hate! (points at Cid)
Tifa: Nah... I'll keep killing Aeris! (Aeris stands up)
Aeris: You stupid silicon queen! (knock eachother out)
Cloud: *sigh* Cid, You carry Aeris to her room. I'll take Tifa.
Cait: You perverted bastard! You're gonna take her right here?!?!
Cloud: I mean I'm gonna carry her to her room!
Cait: Oh. Can I have those tickets then? (Cloud gives Cait the tickets)
*** A week or so later ***
Yuffie: I'm bored!
Cloud: Hey! Let's have a party tonight!
Cid/Aeris/Vincent/Cait/Sephy: Cool!
Tifa: That's not a bad idea... I'll get the drinks!
Sephy: I'll invite some people!
Aeris: I'm gonna make some really pretty decorations!
Vincent: I'll make some punch!
Cloud: I'll set away some furniture!
Yuffie: I'll ehhh... clean up!
Barret: I'll help Yuffie!
*** At the bar ***
Tifa: Okay, I'll make the special 'Lockheart SuperCocktail (TM)'! First, some pure alcohol!
Vincent: Have you got a bowl?
Tifa (ignores Vince): Then, some Rum, Safari, Wodka... Hey! Where's the Gin?
Cid: *BURP!* Sorry...
Tifa: D'oh! Oh well... (mixes Run, Safari and Wodka in a bowl) I'll buy some Gin. (leaves)
Vincent: Now where's the bowl? Ah! There it is! Tifa already made some punch? I'll just add...
Sephy: Hey Reno! Would you and the others like to come at a party? Okay, see you!
*** Downstairs ***
Aeris: (is making some decorations)
Cloud: (comes in carrying a couch) Hi Aeris!
Aeris: Hi! Come here...
Cloud: What's wrong?
Aeris: I was a little bored. I just wanted to chat a little...
Cloud: Oh. Are these the decorations?
Aeris: Yes. You like 'em?
Cloud: There great!
Aeris: Thanks.
Cloud: I'll haul some more furniture... Ciao!
*** Upstairs ***
Yuffie: (mopping the floor)
Cid: Who stole my f$%^&#@ Mop!
Yuffie: Oh oh...
Cid: You b#$^@!!! I'll shove that thing up your f@%#$^@ @$$!!!
Yuffie: Vinny, help me!!!
Vincent: Okay baby! (transforms to Chaos!) ROAR!
Cid: Oh s#$%!!! (runs like hell)
Cloud: Vincent! Stop chasing Cid! You're supposed to clean up, not to make it worse!!!
Vincent: Sorry...
Tifa: HEY! Someone stole my bowl! Darn! Now I can start all over!
Cloud: Whats wrong?
Tifa: Someone stole my cocktail I was making for you!
Cloud: I'll help you making a new one!
Tifa: Okay. (begins making a new cocktail)
*** A few hours later ***
Red: There are the guests! Get the punch!
Vincent: Okay, okay! Take it easy!
Cloud: (opens door) Hi guys!
Reno/Rude/Rufus/Reeve/Elena/Tseng/Bugenhagen/Shera: Hi!
Cloud: Make yourself at home! I'll get the punch!
Reno: Okay.
*** A little time later ***
Everyone: Blah blah blah blah...
Tifa: Hey Cloud! Would you get me some punch?
Cloud: Sure. (takes two cups of punch) Cheers! (they drink their punch)
Tifa: This stuff is great!
Cloud: I'll get some more! (they drink some more)
Tifa: I've got this great feeling!
Cloud: Let's get some of that cocktail you made! (they drink some of that, too)
Tifa: I feel good!
*** A little time later again ***
Tifa (drunk): Ya kno' Cloud. This stuff is great! *Hic!*
Cloud (drunk too): Baby, it makes me feel *Hic!* I mean great!
Tifa: Let's have ano'ther one! (drink even more of the stuff)
Cloud (even drunker): Ya'know, you're one hell of a babe!
Tifa (same): I oug'tha kill ya! But, you're too f$%^*%@ cute! (both pass out in eachothers arms)
Reno: Did you see that!? I took Cloud and Tifa down in 6 cups!
Rude: I can outdo that! (drinks 6 cups and passes out, too)
Bugenhagen: Ho ho hooooo! What happend to him?
Reno: He drank that stuff...
Bugenhagen: No wonder... It's 90% alcohol!
Reno: Isn't that a little bit too much for regular punch?
Bugenhagen: It is! It's the same as Tifa's cocktail! Oh well, who cares! (they walk away)
Vincent: Hey Yuffie, want some of the punch I made?
Yuffie: Sure!
*** A little time later, again... ***
Yuffie (drunk): YEAH! Vince, let's get wild in my room, sweety!
Vincent (drunken, too): Yeowza! (they pass out on the stairs)
Cloud (just woke up): My head hurts! (finds Tifa in his arms) Tifa?
Tifa: Wha? Owww!!! My head aches! Cloud?
Cloud: Ya' know, I think da punch has to much alcohol in it.
Tifa: No kidding! (drinks a tranquillizer and uses a cure materia)
Cloud: (does the same) Better. Allot better!
Tifa: Cloud? Would you mind letting me go?
Cloud: What?
Tifa: Would you... (thinks about it that Cloud's holding her) Nevermind.
Cloud: (holds Tifa thighter)
Aeris: Ahem!
Tifa: Aeris?
Aeris: Yes?
Tifa: Get the hell away from me!
Aeris: You leave my Cloud alone!
Cloud (thinks): Not again!
Tifa: YOUR Cloud? You married to him?
Aeris: Not yet!
Tifa: Never, that is!
Aeris: DIE!!! (CATFIGHT!!!)
*** Aeris' & Tifa's Final Battle (like the battle between Cloud and Sephy) ***
Aeris: ..... (zooms in on Aeris)
Sephiroth: .....
Tifa: Get the hell away from there!
Sephy: Sorry... I suddenly got this nostalgic feeling...
Tifa: ..... (zooms in Tifa)
Aeris: ..... (zooms in on Aeris' face)
Tifa: ..... (zooms in even closer on Tifa's....uhm....ears?)
Cloud: Her face! @$$hole!
Rude (cameraman): Heh heh heh... Sorry...
Aeris: Do you mind! We're about to kill eachother!
Cid: Cut the crap! Just fight, you f@#@$#@ b@#$%$@!!!
Tifa: Okay! Let's dance! (bodyslams Aeris)
Aeris: You'll need more than fake breast to kill me! (hits Tifa with her staff)
Tifa: At least I have breasts! Real ones by the way. FLAT B$%^# (roundhouses Aeris)
Aeris: Why the hell are you fighting anyway? Cloud's gonna choose me! (trips Tifa)
Tifa: F#$% you, you slumdrunk!!! (pulls Aeris down and tries to break her leg)
Aeris: AAAHHHH!!! My leg! I'll get you! (stands up and jumps on Tifa)
Tifa: Ouch! Ow! D#$@ you! (grabs Aeris legs and pulls her down again)
Aeris: AH!!!! You're done for! (grabs Tifa's hair pulls and slams her into a wall)
Tifa (bleeding): YOU'RE DEAD!!! FINAL HEAVEN!!! (Aeris flies through the air and crashes down)
Aeris: Everything... hurts... !!!
Tifa: Now for the kill! (grabs Cloud's sword) DIE!!! (jumps up and impales Aeris, killing her)
Cid: What a fight!
Reno: Hell ya!
Reeve: Damn right!
Vincent (still drunk): *Hic!*
Yuffie: Hey guys! Let's get some punch!
Cloud: Tifa, you alright?
Tifa: *pant* I'm fine...
*** 3 hours later ***
Everybody (drunk as hell, dancing the polonaise): TataratataTA! TatarataTA!
Tifa: Let's al get eve'n more of tha stuf'f!
Everybody: Olé! *gulp* (all pass out)
*** Next morning ***
Red: Zzzz... Zzzz... Zzzz...
Cloud: Man, my head!
Tifa: Wha?
Cloud: My head feels liked it has been nuked!
Tifa: Mine too!
Red: Ditto!
Everyone: (suffers an incredible hangover)
Reno: Thanks for the party!
Cloud: See ya! (the Turks leave)
Bugenhagen: Ho ho hoooooo!!! I've had great fun... Thanks Cloud.
Cloud: Don't mention it. Ciao!
Reeve/Cait: I'll be going. Bye!
Shera: I'm going home, too. Bye!
Cloud: Ciao!
Tifa: Okay, let's clean this place up! Cloud, you help me!
Cloud: Okay. (begins to clean up)
Tifa: Ewww... What's this? Oh! I remember. (throws Aeris' body out)
Cloud: HEY! My sword is still in there! (gets his sword back)
Yuffie: What a night...
Cid: You and Vampy still owe Cait and me 4000 gil.
Vincent/Yuffie: D'oh!
THE END!