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Ates. All rights reserved. That means: please don't take my work without asking! Revised: 03 apr 1999. |
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*****Cid's Marriage*****
Cid (walks in Cloud's villa, whistling): Hi guys!
Everybody: (confused Cid didn't curse)
Cid: What the f%#$ is wrong with you @$$holes!?!?
Everybody: (releived)
Cid: I've got great news! Shera and I are gonna get married!
Everybody: (faints)
Cid: Come on! You gotta help me! The marriage is tommorow!
Cloud: Tommorow? Isn't that a little soon?
Cid: Does it matter? Besides, Shera and I don't like to waste time.
Aeris: We'll help! We'll make you two the most lovely couple ever!
Tifa: Yeah! We'll buy a beautifull dress for Shera!
Vincent: And I'll help you find a neat suit!
Cait: I'll make the cake!
All: YOU CAN MAKE A CAKE?!?!?!
Cait: I took cooking lessons from Elmyra!
Aeris: Does Mom give cooking lessons? Oh well...
*** Dress shop ***
Shera: Thank you so much for helping me!
Aeris: No problem. I hope my marriage with Cloud is gonna be just as beautiful.
Tifa: Yeah. Too bad I'm gonna marry him.
Aeris: I don't think so, slut!
Tifa: Never knew you could think.
Aeris: Fat b^%$#!
Tifa: Ancient crackwhore!
Shera: Girls! Come on!
Tifa: I'm sorry.
Shera: It's okay. I wonder what the others are doing?
*** Cloud's Villa ***
Reeve: Just add a few cherries here.
Yuffie: There. Is it finished?
Reeve: Nope. Look what I got! (holds two FF7 dolls, Cid and Shera, in wedding clothes)
Yuffie: Great! Now the cake will be complete!
Reeve: It look delicious, right?
Yuffie: I wanna take a bite out of it!
Reeve: Well, I made you another cake, but watch out, it's...
Yuffie: (already took the cake out of the stove) HOT! AHHHH! (begins to run in circles)
Reeve: Tsk tsk tsk. I warned you.
Yuffie (whines): I burned my hands!
Cid (walks in): Shut up, materia b^%$#!
Reeve: I thought you would get a suit?
Cid: There all too f%$#^%$ tight! I'm going in this! (points at his normal outfit)
Reeve: In your normal pilot's clothes? Oh well, it's not my marriage.
Vincent: I warned him.
Cid: Shut up, you spoony vampire!
Vincent: (grabs Cid's feet and slams him in a wall)
Yuffie: Real subtle...
*** Sector 5 Church **
Cloud: A little bit right, a bit more, a tiny bit back. Hold it!
Barret: Hurry up, foo'!
Cloud: (grabs a few nails and a hammer and fixes the large wooden beam Barret's carrying to it's place)
Barret: There! Much better!
Cloud: We did a fine job repairing this place!
*** On the roof ***
Red: *gulp* It sure is high...
Sephy: Don't be such a wuss. Give me that piece of iron, so I can repair this hole.
Red: Here.
Sephy: (repairs the hole Cloud made) Good as new! (pats Red on his back)
Red: AAAAAIIIIIIIEEEEE!!!!!!! (falls down and crashes into a few garbage cans)
Sephy: Oops...
*** Back inside ***
Barret: Ya sure that beam is stable?
Cloud: Yes, I'm sure! Don't you trust my repairing?
Barret: No. Are you really really sure it won't collapse?
Cloud (pissed off): YES! I'M SURE IT WON'T- (beam crashes on top of him) .....
Barret: See what I mean?
Cloud: F^%$ you! (faints)
Sephy: What's wrong?
Barret: That foo' let a beam drop on his head!
Sephy: Lemme fix it! (repairs the entire church)
Barret: Never knew ya could repair things so well.
Sephy: I got a lot of practice in my cave.
Barret: Let's go back. (they carry Red and Cloud with them)
*** Dress Shop ***
Tifa: Slut!
Aeris: Whore!
Tifa: B^%$#!
Aeris: Fat pig!
Tifa: Slumdrunk!
Aeris: Piece of s%$#!
Tifa: DIE!!! (launches herself against Aeris and they begin to fight)
Shopkeeper: Excuse, but could you do that somewhere else?
Tifa: Shut up! Can't you see I'm busy?!?!
Aeris: In other words, f^%$ you!
Shopkeeper (to a cop who just walks by): Officer! Arrest them!
Tifa/Aeris: S%$#! (they try to run, but get busted)
Cop: You have the right to remain silent! Anything you say can and will be used against you.
Tifa: I wish Cloud was here to save me...
Aeris: As if he would save you!
Tifa: %#$%^#&$!!! (they begin to fight, even with handcuffs)
Cop: (shoots in the air) You two are coming with me! (drives them to the policestation)
Shera (who was changing her dress at the time): What do you two think? Tifa? Aeris? Hello?
*** Cloud's Villa ***
(everybody, except Tifa and Aeris are home)
Cloud: I wonder where those two went.
Yuffie: They probably are in a hospital, after beating the hell outta eachother.
Shera: Cid?
Cid: Yeah?
Shera: Why don't you show me your suit?
Cid: I'm wearing it!
Shera (laughing): You're gonna wear that?
Cid: This happens to be most comfortable!
(doorbell rings)
Cloud: I'll get it. (opens door and sees 3 cops, Tifa and Aeris) What the hell?
Cop #1: Mr. Strife?
Cloud (thinks): Mr strife... Sounds good... (out loud) Yeah?
Cop #2: We are here to hand these two over.
Cop #3: They were taken into custody, but they did nothing but fight.
Cop #1: And they destroyed the entire prison with it.
Cloud: And?
Cop #2: We don't want them! Here! (takes back the handcuffs and the cops leave)
Cloud: You two were arrested?
Aeris/Tifa: Ehhh... Hi Cloud!
Cloud: I don't wanna know. Anyway, welcome back.
Aeris: Thanks Cloud.
Tifa: He was talking to me!
Aeris: No he wasn't!
Tifa: Yes he was! (they begin to fight again)
Cloud: (pulls them inside, closes door and leaves them alone)
*** Next day ***
Cloud: Hurry up! We're gonna miss the wedding.
Tifa: Okay, but where are Cid and Shera?
Vincent: They already left in a Chocobo Carriage.
Sephy: Okay.
*** Highwind ***
Vincent: Errr... Who's gonna fly?
Cloud: I'm gonna pilot this thing! I always wanted to fly once!
Reeve: AAAHHHHHHH!!!!! RUN FOR YOUR LIVE!!!!!
Cloud: Shut up! I can fly! I'll show you! Ehhh... Where's the manual?
All: (faint)
*** Sector 5 Church ***
Cid: We're here....
Shera: This is so exciting! (they enter the church)
(highwind crashes down in some alley and they all fall out)
Cloud: Next stop, sector 5!
Reeve: Man, what a trip!
Tifa: Come on! They're about to begin the wedding!
(they all hurry into the church and sit down)
Cid: Where's the f%$#&%$ reverend?!?!?!
Bugenhagen: Ho ho hooo! I'm here!
Shera: Are you the reverend?
Bugenhagen: Yup! I'm from the Rent-A-Priest corporation!
Cid: Great! Just start the show!
Bugenhagen: Dearly beloved. We are here to-
Cid: Skip that part! Just do the most important!
Bugenhagen: Shera, do you take Cid Highwind as your husband?
Shera (smiling): I do.
Bugenhagen: Cid, do you take Shera as your wife?
Cid: Hell yeah!
Bugenhagen: I now pronounce you man and wife! You may kiss the bride.
Cid: Yippie! (Shera kisses him) HOLYS%$#!!!
*** The rest of the team ***
Barret (crying): I get so sentimental at these times. *sniff*
Sephy (crying, too): I know. *sniff* Me too.
Tifa: It's so beautiful. Don't you agree Cloud?
Cloud: Yeah...
*** Back in the Highwind ***
Cloud: That was beautiful.
Cid: Yeah, it was.
Shera: Hi Cid! G%$DAMMIT! Cid! Why the hell is it such mess in our airship?!?!
Cid: Sorry, honey...
Shera: You better clean it up with that Mop of yours, before I kill you!
Cid: Yes, honey.
All: (laughing at Cid)
Cid: F^%$ you all!
The End.